Grateful

So my last post was depressing. Which is good. Because life can be depressing. And I needed the moment to be dramatic. I fed into my id and I'm going to be honest. It was nice. It is sometimes very satisfying to be completely emotional. I can't always be strong and levelheaded with things. And I haven't really taken the time this past week to allow myself a truly emotional response without intellectualizing and justifying. So there was my moment. And I'm not going to intellectualize and justify and say that he really is a great person blah blah blah. But I am going to say that despite how things sometimes feel like they are horrible and bad. I am SO grateful for my life-and the little things. So here are some of the things I am grateful for. And yes some of them are strange. I just had an experience that made me very grateful for things.
I am grateful...
...that I am not pregnant with a child that will not know it's father.
...that I do not have any illegitimate children.
...that I do not have children with different fathers.
...that I do not have children, period, the end.
...that the most drama I've ever had in a relationship is with Eric and the shenanigans we've been dealing with, which comparatively isn't really so bad.
...that I do not have to pay $5 a pack for cigarettes, $? for alcohol or any other substance except for large quantities of ice cream and chocolate.
...that I do not have to party to get my kicks.
...that a bag of chips and Oreos is enough of a party for me.
...that My best friend knows me all too well.
...that I now have an appropriate bumper sticker for my car. ("You just got passed by a glorified toaster.:heh heh heh)
...for the gospel in my life.
...that my dog will cuddle with me.
...for my marvelous mother who worries about me and helps make me better.
...for my Dad, who always makes sure I am taken care of, even if it puts him in awkward moments, like me talking about my relationships.
...that God answers prayers--even if they are not always what I want.
...that I have options and few obligations.
...that I have friends who will do most anything for me.
...that I have adorable people who will constantly allow me to cry on their shoulders, which I do much more than I am willing to admit.
So thank you to my wonderful family (immediate and extended), my angels who are friends, and the relative humor and the life circumstances of others that make me realize how blessed my life is. Sometimes it's a vacuum (it sucks) but it could always be worse. And truly I am very blessed. I just forget to realize it.