Count Your Blessings

I am SO grateful for my life. It's so funny I just deleted two long paragraphs on how much I am so confused and so lost and then I got in a conversation and realized I am SO blessed. So here are the things I am grateful for:
1. My parents--they let me live at home, even after all my whining about hating living at home and being miserable. They love me unconditionally, accept my mistakes and help me through my challenges. They seldom chide me or yell and they constantly love and accept me.
2. My friends-- My friends allow me to be dramatic and quirky and listen to my petty problems as well. The guy friends that I have that want more are so good to still be my friend and accept me and my idiocy and selfishness.
3. My SUU Family--Two of my best friends! They listen to me even though they've faced much worse. They love me and seem think I'm amazing when I'm so human and so not. But in addition, they give me a solution to my problem and come with me to Disneyland.
4. My other self--She listens to me constantly, often putting my meagar petty problems in front of her own. She loves me and tries always to take time out of her life for me.
5. Musicals--Life is just better when broadway music is involved.
6. Coworkers--I genuinely enjoy the people you work with. And they are always available to offer wisdom and advice. They seem to care about me and enjoy me. I hope that's not too narcisstic. Maybe they just put up with me because they have to. But I really enjoy them and the advice and the comradery they offer.
7. My job--it's a double edged sword but I enjoy helping and working with people.
8. My dog--she's a pain and still not potty trained. But mostly that's my fault. She offers up unconditional love and affection even if I only get to see her for 20 minutes as I'm getting ready for bed. Or if I've not given her any attention. I honestly can say its hard to imagine life without her.
9. The gospel--I love the gospel. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a part in it and how much it blesses my life. Seriously I'm very grateful for my Heavenly Father and Savior. And the love and assistance they offer me.

Landlords--Old & New

The last post was written on the 4 of January--I think the power must of went out while I was trying to post it.
Life has been going. And really it's been good. I am very blessed to have any amazing family and friends as a great support system. I need it, especially these upcoming weeks. I have to face my fears the end of February and I'm just very grateful that I have a support system in place. I know, as try as I am not to, that he's going to break my heart again. I'm trying to set myself up for it as protection but I'm weak. However, I know that I'm going to be okay, in the end at least.
I have had to deal with landlords this week. My last landlord before I moved home still has not given me my deposit. Which is a little ridiculous seeing that it's been 6 months since I moved out. Well past the legal time. I should have pressed actions quicker. But I did call back in Oct, Nov, and Dec each call informing me that they've mailed it. Joyous.
On a good note I've found a small 1 bedroom apartment so I'll be moving. Which is good. I'm excited to be out from under my parents wings. I love them but it's been difficult living with them after being away for so long. The part I've struggled most with is that I haven't felt like I'm an adult. More like a child. And like I had to prove myself as an adult. Not because my parents treated me like a child. It's more along the lines of my own inadequacies. Now I have a small but quaint spot to call my own. It will be nice. :D I'm very grateful for it. So theres the news in my life. A fear of reruns from the past--and my lovely EMT course. My amazing group of family and friends. And my puppy and I facing the adventures of being by ourselves. It's joyous--really it is. :D

Belated Holiday Wishes and New Beginnings

Happy Holidays. Even if it is a little belated. As I think of it I really have nothing to say. I adore Christmas--I just love the Christmas season. The idea of giving and service. I really tried--although I didn't succeed fully--to focus more on the giving part of Christmas. New Years, however, was actually the better part of the holidays. I had had to work Christmas eve and it was more rushed. I didn't feel the Christmas season--the songs and the splendor as much as I normally do. I also felt reminded of my singularity. Visiting my ex-missionary's family probably didn't help that aspect so much. However my New Years was surrounded by my close friends and family and was wonderful. Now I'm back in the swing of things working full time. I'm taking an EMT course which also will take up a lot of my time. Ironic isn't it? Me becoming an EMT. 6 months ago I couldn't even be near an ambulance or hear sirens. I am pretty nervous over that. But I feel pretty good about it and will enjoy the experience I'm sure.

Other than that my life is relatively nondescript. I have been nervous for February I don't really want to face my ex-missionary but I know I'll put on a good face. It will just still break my heart but he won't know.

I'm very blessed though. I have wonderful friends--several of which have offered to be here for me. And an amazing family that support me in my patheticness.