Here's to Honesty

Well...here's the kicker. So far my Maintain Don't Gain Goals have basically...well...failed. BUT I did actually work out today. And have avoided pop most of the time. As well as making better choices. I am going to post my goals all over my house though, and have talked to Wes about helping me. So, as far as the updates go: It was a giant fail. But luckily, each day has potential. And I think since I am telling myself I have to be accountable on the blog world that it will be the clincher into getting me started.

In other news:
I baked my first pies. Plural. And started an oven fire. I didn't realize the huge difference of shallow pies and deep-dish pies. So things turned out interesting. But it was a great experience. Ammon has been sick. It's the worse because he's not so bad I think we need a Dr. but at the same time it makes me feel bad because I'm not always sure what to do for him. We'll get it though. In the mean time Wes and I will take good care of him. Here's some Thanksgiving Pictures:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! AND BLACK FRIDAY!

Goals for the Holidays...and hopefully Habits

So I desperately need to update but SO much has happened that I'm not going to worry about it this post and I will next update tomorrow or Wednesday with a picture post.

Instead I want to talk about goals, and hope that this will help me be more accountable with my actions. The year before I got pregnant I gained 30 pounds, I mostly blamed birth control and there was a big component of that which I still think is true. (30 pounds in 3 months when I hadn't gained more than 10 pounds over the 4 years I was out of HS before this is my excuse.) However, I still had gained that weight, wasn't happy with my body and even more I wasn't healthy. I wasn't eating right and I was not exercising. It was also the first time since my sophomore year of High School that I could not go out and run a 5k for fun and enjoy myself--without walking. When I'd decided I was going to get work on that I found out I was pregnant. I did my best to try to be healthy during my pregnancy and remained active--which is how I know I got through my c-section and recovered easier than I'd been expecting. I told myself after that, that I would get back into shape. But then I was getting up to feed Ammon and was tired so I started drinking Dr. Pepper and have NOT been eating healthy. I was still walking everyday and was feeling fairly good.

Then we discovered the blood clots. Even though I didn't have the typical short of breath, low blood oxygen levels, etc. I was still told that I needed to be very moderate in my exercise that I shouldn't over-exert myself.  This terrified me and I have instead taken things to the extreme on limits. I stopped walking and have kinda been stagnant. And I'm tired of it. I feel my best when I am healthy. When I exercise and know that I can do things for fun. I used to love running--I hate the start up but I know that I loved to be able to go out and run a mile or even 3  and be okay. That's when I was the most happy. I also know that while I was worried about Gestational Diabetes I was super sensitive to what I put into my body. I learned a LOT about carb intake and healthy eating, more than I did previously. And I felt the best I have in 2 years, even though I was 6 months pregnant!

Even still I want to justify and say I'm not completely unhealthy. If I have the choice I will always choose wheat bread. I do drink Dr. Pepper but generally only once or twice a week. Even still that is much more than my past. I used to steer clear of carbonation and opt for 100% juice. Generally when I choose snacks I will opt for popcorn, nuts, or vegetables over potato chips. And I still make it a goal to 'stroll' at least one of my breaks during lunch. But even still, for honesty's sake: I drink more carbonation and caffeine than I ever have in my life. I am more inclined to eat ice cream and cake at night while Wes and I watch a Netflix. I could probably not run a mile without stopping right now. I only have 2 pairs of work pants that fit that aren't maternity pants. I eat a burger and fries at least once a week. I am not living healthy.

And I want to change. I'll be honest, I hate dieting. And think they are stupid. Automatically I see a diet as something one WILL fail at because it is only temporary. And I don't want to be the girl who always eats salads. I don't want to be rail thin. I want to be healthy. I want to feel comfortable in my body. I don't want to hurt like I'm 60 years old rather than 23. Even then I still don't want to feel guilty when I eat Fettucine Alfredo or have a bowl of ice cream. But I want those to be rare rather than every day. I like eating. I LOVE food. And there are good-tasting healthy alternatives.

So I've started a challenge at work that is called Maintain Don't Gain through the Holidays. We are supposed to create at least 2 goals to follow during the holidays and try not to gain weight through this time by maintaining these goals. They recommend, however, that instead of 2 goals you have one for each of these categories: Nutrition, Physical Activity, Sleep, Mental Health. Then we track these goals. I want to continue to track them and be healthy. I am going to talk to Wes, my Mom, and my co-worker to help as my support system through this. And want to be responsible for myself to be happy. Not because I look freaking amazing and have the body of a model. But because I want to feel comfortable being me. I want to show my child what eating right looks like. And how to love himself no matter his shape or size.

I feel hypocritical through this because I have always been critical of dieting. Of hating your body. My mother and one of my high school best friends always struggled with their body image. I have watched my Mom consistently wavering between trying to lose weight and telling everybody to screw themselves because she wanted to be happy and hated everyone telling her that she couldn't be if she were overweight. That's a lie. I believe that people are beautiful in every size. That being said, I am vain enough to know that I am doing this because of my looks. But even more, I want to be healthy. So here are my goals. I am also going to put suggestions on how to handle them.

NUTRITION
* Create and follow weekly meal plan:
I am really fairly good at creating a meal plan. Even buying ingredients. I'm bad with follow through though because I find I forgot that one ingredient or I didn't get this out of the freezer. OR most common: I'm too tired to do it or it's too late.So I want to -plan time in the morning to get stuff out, -take time on a free evening or weekend to prepare for the following weeks, & -plan meals that are quick, easy, and healthy.
* Eat at decent, consistent times:
I am really bad at cooking at consistent times. I am generally in a rush in the morning, particularly now that I have to feed Ammon amidst the rush. So I typically eat at work. But I'm not really good to remember about eating until I'm half-way through the morning. Even though I am an avid breakfast eater. Then at night I get home and feed Ammon and then I do not want to get up to fix. Because I'm lazy and need time to decompress. So I would like to -set reminders to eat, -ensure I have sufficient materials to eat with minimal effort.
* Drink water instead of Dr. Pepper:
I write this while guiltily looking at my TWO 32 oz. cups--one that used to have Dr. Pepper. The one I'm sucking down on now used to have water.
*Indulge. But don't overindulge:
I don't think it's always bad to have a donut or eat potato chips. But lately I eat sweets every night. Etc.
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
* Physical Activity 30 minutes a day! NO EXCUSES!
I am good at making excuses. But and being lazy. Especially since the cold weather is coming in. I want to create a plan that I will follow through on a weekly basis that includes 30 minutes a day. Whether this mean that I am doing my Biggest Losers Weight-loss Yoga before I go to bed or in the morning. Running on the track. Or if I am doing Water Aerobics or Zumba or something new. Or if I am doing WiiFit despite my fear of watching my WiiMi get fat, which is the for reals reason I have not gotten on it yet.
* Create a game plan so that I have NO excuses
I want to try to mix things up. Somedays I want to run. Others WiiFit. Others strength-based or Yoga. If I have a game plan I will be more likely to go through with it.
SLEEP/MENTAL HEALTH
*Read a book:
I love to read. It relaxes me and makes life a lot better. For my mental health I will read a little bit everyday.
*Record Tender Mercies:
I always notice my blessings better when I take note of them. A year or so ago I was really good at writing them down daily and I'd like to return to that. Because then I remember that I am really too blessed to be stressed.
*STUDY Scriptures before sleeping:
I want to make sure that I take time for my spiritual self as well. And I love to read my scriptures before going to bed. It calms me, I'm more introspective and helps me with my tender mercies. However, I haven't been as consistent as I normally am lately. I would like to change that.

There we have it. Nine relatively simple goals that I'm really hoping to become habits. This MDG Challenge is from Nov 19 through Jan 4. So I will try to blog about how I'm doing. I know I won't everyday but I will try to keep things updated to keep myself accountable.

Please Help

I know that there are not many people (if any) who view this blog. But, I still hope that this can help even a little bit. My cousin's daughter and her boyfriend (both are 15) are missing. They are suspected as runaways and have stolen 2 vehicles. The vehicle they are thought to be in now is a 1996 Blue Dodge Neon with a license plate Y097DG. They are thought to be heading to Salt Lake City, UT. And stole the Neon from Ephraim, UT. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

A Lesson in Patience and Joy...REALLY LATE/LONG POST

So, if it helps, I've been working on a version of this post since before Ammon was born. Then he was born--in which case I was at the hospital. When I got home I started on it. It's just taken me the full month to take the time for all of it.

 My due date August 10th came and went without incident...well, a few minor breakdowns but no baby. I attempted to write on this blog about my frustration but couldn't find a way to input it. And now, surprisingly, I can't remember all of it. Honestly, I know I thought: I will NEVER forget this! But to be honest, it's a vague memory. Not so vague to know that I was miserable and so mad that I was overdue. I'd been hoping He would come early. 

This is me the week before my due date:

On my due date I remember that I came home and cried. I was so frustrated with EVERY person who asked me why I was still there...at work...at the store...the Post Office...Here is us on our 4-wheeler ride.

Four days after my due date I was still at work. And miserable. On my walk to the post office that afternoon , my water broke. At first I wasn't sure. Wes laughed when I called to say: "I THINK my water just broke." We went to the hospital around 4:30 but I wasn't feeling any contractions. So we just hung out at the hospital while I gushed everywhere. Here's me hanging out:

Finally at around 3 a.m. they started me on Pitocin. But I didn't start to feel contractions until around 5:30. By 7:00 I was feeling the pain of the contractions and was finding it hard to focus. I finally asked for an epidural but before they got to that point the baby's heart-rate dropped suddenly. Down to like 70 bpm (supposed to be around 110-160 bpm) The nurse came rushing in while yelling at the other nurses. I had no idea what was going on but they gave me an oxygen mask and tilted me to the side while lowering the bed. It took about a minute and a 1/2 for his heart rate to come back. They had called the Dr. for the epidural anyway and told me to plan on an emergency c-section since they also stopped the Pitocin and I wasn't fully dilated. My Dr. came in to confirm that they were going to do a C-Section. Luckily, by this point I was in a a lot of pain so I didn't really care. Wes got scrubbed up and my Mom helped the nurses with prepping me for the surgery. Mom stayed back to call my in laws and my Dad. For me, almost everything about the C-Section was bizarre. I remember thinking that I should not be awake once we got past the operating room doors. I was also strange to know that they were doing surgery not being able to tell--yet still having SOME sensation. 
Wes was my hero during this stage of the game. He stayed with me and talked to me, stroked my hair, and was all around amazing at staying calm. When Ammon was born Wes stayed with me and told me about him. And held my hand even when he went over to Ammon he held my hand and talked to me. The nurses all guessed his weight around 8 lbs. 
But he came in at a whopping: 9 lbs 5 oz. 22 inches long. His head was 14 cm and his chest was 15 1/2 cm. I decided to be very grateful for the C-section. He also had had the cord wrapped around his neck. So Heavenly Father blessed us that day. Here he is:

Here's our first family picture. I was so excited to hold him. That was the absolute WORST part of the C-Section: That I couldn't see him or hold him right after he was born until they fixed me back up. 

I was so happy to meet my little kicker. For me, the single instant he was born I knew that everything was worth it. The pregnancy. The birth. Getting my uterus cut open. He was so perfect and precious. And I am SO very grateful for him. 

It's so nice to feel like a family.

Wes is just a natural at being a father. He is so good and patient. And he loves to tease and joke (already.) These are my absolute FAVORITE pictures of his new fatherhood.

We had quite a few visitors but first and foremost are the excited Aunts, Uncle's, and Grandparents.

Grandma Roberts was almost as impatient for our new arrival as I was. She was so happy to have him here. When she's around, I'm hard pressed to spend any time with him.

Aunt Haylee thought this was old hat--after all, she's been an Aunt since she was 2.

Taylor is so happy to have another boy in the family. Even if there is a 10 year age difference he has someone new he can learn to wrestle with.

Grandma Hunt has been so helpful throughout the whole process. She loves to hold him and help me out.

Grandpa Hunt was also very excited to meet his first grandson.

Aunt Mandee wanted to try his new hat as well.

Uncle Zach was nervous--he's the baby in my family. But he was so excited to become an Uncle. He even sent out a mass text announcing his new title to his friends.

Grandpa Roberts was also very excited and proud of his new grandson.

Even a lot of extended family came to visit. 

My Aunt Marilyn & Uncle Guy came over.

Along with Aunt Linda

We also had Wes' cousin Shanna and Aunt Norma come visit. But for some reason I don't have pictures of their visit.
\Some of my Co-workers came to visit. 

Marles gets official aunt-hood/grandma rights with Ammon because of how helpful/amazing she is.

Darla even came to visit, complete with a Yankee pajama set.

And Todd dropped by to coo. 

In addition to them. A few of our neighbors and ward members dropped by.

Aunt Andrea (my cousin but closest thing I have to a sister in my family)  wasn't at all sure what she thought at first.

But she was a pro by the time she'd left.

And Aunt Kay stopped by as well.

Here are some shots of the little star in all his glory. 

We spent 3 days at the hospital because of the C-Section. It was nice though to just relax and let the nurses take care of us while we enjoyed each other.

Grandma Roberts actually volunteered to change his first diaper.

After 3 days we were finally ready (and scared) to go home.This meant clothes.

 His first car seat ride was weird for me. While we were putting him in the car I kept waiting for the nurses to stop us and say: Just Kidding! We don't really let you guys take them home yet. This was just a test run. And it never happened.

 But all around he decided that it's good to be home. He's been a major blessing. We're so happy to have him here. 

Moment to Moment

I will say that I have thought about the difference a moment can make in a life. My Uncle passed away suddenly last week, very unexpected. And I know how crazy it has been for his family and for the rest of the family. We were all in such a shock. I am so grateful at the knowledge that death is not the end. However, my heart still breaks for his family. And it makes me think of how crazy life can be. How unexpected. And that we need to enjoy every aspect of our life.

If this experience wasn't enough I had another heart-stopping experience. This one with a happy ending. Yesterday I was in meetings and got pulled out by my coworker saying "You need to call your husband! He's been hurt! He cut himself!" I knew that he was working about 2 hours away from our home and, being over dramatic I was imagining the worst! I was so scared and nervous. When I finally got a hold of him, I found that he had been using a razor blade while talking on the phone, missed and caught his thigh. Luckily he didn't slice anything but he had a fairly deep puncture that hit muscle. He stated that he was fine, he was going to go to an Instacare and get stitches. I still worried like crazy! I was also somewhat frustrated because they didn't have a vehicle with them. Apparently 3 of them had come up together, 2 of them went to work on a job and the other worker had some meetings about 45 minutes away. So it was over an hour after he cut himself that he received medical attention. He's fine, however he does have 3 stitches and his thigh hurts. He says the worst part was seeing his muscle and fat.

The hardest part for me is that he asked me NOT to come get him. My mom was coming back from a trip and would be passing through where he was at so he would just get a ride with her. I am very much about control and it was so hard to go back to work and act like things were normal when, even though I had his assurances that he was fine, I imagined every possible thing that could go wrong. Especially since his ride was STILL not nearby. I imagined him bleeding all over the place, even though it really was only a puncture. I asked him not to do that to me again. Even if it's pointless and I can't help, my driving there to see him would have made me much more comfortable because I would feel like I was at least doing something. Everybody joked that it was going to send me into labor. I worried that it was something way serious and then what would I do with Weston when I finally went into labor?!?!

It was definitely one experience I don't care to repeat. But made me remember how grateful I am for my husband. And how much we should all savor every moment. Because we never know what will happen next. I mean, on a lighter note, look at me, barely married a year and 9 months pregnant. I could be a Momma any day. And when I am, I'm certain that moment to moment will take an even greater toll.

Down to the Wire...Showers galore.

Well...I only have 3 more weeks of pregnancy. It's amazing how time flies. And how my tummy gets bigger. And bigger. It's almost humorous to remember my first few months of pregnancy when I thought that I was growing and was huge. Looking back you could hardly tell:

Approximately 20 weeks

But I was so excited! I wanted to LOOK pregnant since I had to feel it. And I wanted to shout out to the world that we were having this huge change in my life. Now I am huge. And this Cartoon really shows the truth: 

http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/cartoons/cartoon22

Actually it's not ALL that bad. I'm real enough to admit that I like the attention often. And I'm not one of those people who can't handle being touched. However, it is really strange when complete strangers, I've never met in my life, come and grab my belly. Without asking. 

I think I'm different from many people, because really, it's the without asking that bugs me. And the fact that it's just not something I would ever think to do to a stranger. I have never looked at a pregnant woman before now and thought: "Oh I want to touch her belly." 

Yet, as I stated already, it's really not something I mind. I like the attention and it's definitely a conversation starter. I am a person who likes touching so it really doesn't bother me.

What bothers me more now is the heat. And simply being a WALRUS!

Easter 23 weeks

For serial. I told Weston that's how I felt the other day and he told me: "Hunny, you're not a walrus. You don't have any flippers." Even under these circumstances he's a tease. Luckily for him it made me laugh or I might have tried to make him cry. 

26 weeks

But the nice thing now is that I do have a semi-count down. I count down by weeks. Days just get too inconvenient and really, one never knows when the baby will come. Only about 5% of babies are born on their due date. I'm not really planning on it being me.They claim that 50% of babies are born after their due date...that's where it scares me.

31 weeks

But I'm hoping I'll be close to 40 weeks. I'm most nervous to be over though. Because I keep growing...

33 weeks

and growing...I have these terrible images that I'm just going to pop someday. (Always in cartoon images so that it deletes the majority of the gore.) Or even more horrific is the reoccurring dream that I'm just going to be pregnant and walrus-like forever. Everyone else does tell me that it will soon end. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

I'm down to weekly doctor's appointments. This baby will get here eventually. And then I'll have a whole different set of worries going through. How will I be a parent? How am I going to be wholly responsible for another human being? But that's another rant. I'm down to the wire. And most likely I won't be pregnant forever. So that is good. I have many blessing in my life for this.

This last couple of weeks has also been filled with Baby Showers. And more preparation for the baby.

I've had 3 baby showers. Because I have amazing family and an awesome office. 

The first shower was given by my Momma and Best Friend Heather. It was super cute. The invite showed "Hey Diddle Diddle, Have you Seen Sariah's middle?" and they used the theme goodnight baby. Check out the adorable decorations:

This said "We're so Excited for Baby!"

Super adorable banner

They also did a banner that had the baby's name. I didn't get a very good picture of it. Sorry.

Then there was the food!

Food Glorious Food!

My mom was so nervous the watermelon baby carriage wouldn't work out. I loved it!

Punch can be found on pinterest

We had such a good crowd, it was so nice to see everyone

My family was super sweet. My cousin on the left chair was getting married in 5 days and she still came!

I was so grateful for the effort everyone made. I truly am very blessed.

My Momma stayed busy throughout the whole day!

Heather is the one who put together everything, even though she lives 2 hours away.
It was a big effort on her part. I am so grateful for her

My co-workers also did a baby shower. I wish I'd thought to bring my camera during the shower rather than after the fact. So I have no pictures of people. Or even the food. (I know! What's wrong with me?!) But here's their really sweet and adorable gifts:

The diaper cycle. They used diapers, bibs, a bottle and receiving blankets to put it together.
My co-worker told me that her grand-daughter told her "Gramma, that's silly! Dogs don't ride motorcycles!"

The other thing I was offered were "Tinkle Tents" which had a hilarious poem on it as well as stories of grand adventure.

The last weekend my In-Laws (Sisters and Mom) threw a baby "Shower" with the cute "Shower theme". They got really creative and had a lot of fun (I hope, at least, they put a LOT of effort) into the shower.

Cute decor--they all contributed to part of it.

Amazing Baby tummy cake, complete with baby foot. I wish I'd gotten a better picture. This didn't show it justice.

he flower and pinwheel bouquet was made of onesies and baby washcloths. 

Diaper 3-wheeler. Since she knew I had blankets she used baby towels for the handles etc.

Adorable decorations that I am totally reusing for my nursery I'm really excited 

Since it's a shower one has to have a rainbow! All dips are courtesy of pinterest and adventure.

Played this super cute shower game that included a basket of laundry, talking on a phone and holding an obnoxious (SERIOUSLY OBNOXIOUS) baby doll. It was a LOT of fun to watch. 

The little girls won this game. They were very helpfu

I had an excellent helper with opening gifts

Thanks so much everyone for all your help!

It was so great to have these showers and to have so many friends or family that are super supportive. And to know the support system that's been going on. I definitely am grateful for the advice others have given me: particularly to use help. And that I don't have to be superwoman. 

I'm also so grateful for Weston. He's been such a support. Even coming to my Dr. Appointments when I ask him. And putting up with my moods. We only have 3 weeks (approx) left of it just being the 2 of us. And really, it hasn't been the 2 of us for the last 9 months. We're embarking a new adventure soon though. It will be an interesting experience.